In defense of the feminine side in males

I guess it is what I would call artists' politics, if ever there is such a term. A good male friend of mine, whom I hug frequently and hang onto time and again, hugged another male friend of mine to prove a point! I mean, the issue here is that we are in Africa, specifically in Zimbabwe, where the GALZ are frowned upon and thus the issue of being gay is kept in the closet. We (read, fellow artists)still whisper about certain people being gay, not that we look down upon them, but because, I believe we have a deep fear of being hit upon by someone of the same sex. Needles to say that I have had personal experience of being hit upon and am yet to find a way of turning her down politely and without raising her suspicions that I have let out her secret. Anyway, I digress. My friend, whom I shall artistically name Male1, felt it proper and worthy of a heated discussion lasting a good thirty minutes to be conducted "in defense of the feminine side in males" so he says.

He argues that it is now near difficult if not outright impossible for a man to escape manifesting a feminine side. His argument is mainly the fact(s) that he:

"is a man born out of woman -his emphasis not mine-, he is married to woman, his one child is female and his best friend is me, a woman! He even works with woman, a lot of them at that! So, excuse me...I do have a feminine side to me!"

This was never the point of argument, that women outnumber him, home and away. He had given another man a hug, the same way he would have hugged a woman, dare I say... me? It looked wrong and we, the females in the room at the time felt the hug was "off"- whatever that meant. There is (was?) an acceptable manner in which guys hugged one another- the whole hands meeting across their stomachs/ chests as they hugged accompanied by the pats on the backs way. The internet is full of how men give each other hugs, the guy-to-guy-we-are-just-friends-nothing-more-to-this-hug way. This led to an even more interesting talking point, guys holding hands! Wow, guys holding hands, i mean men holding hands in public is some serious Public Display of Affection!

I must admit that maybe it comes from being a former colony of the prim and proper Brits, but we Zimbos are pretty much a conservative society, at large. The issue of PDA is still akin to social rebellion, reserved only for the "brave"- these are not afraid of what people will say/insinuate behind their backs regarding their moral standing. With this background in mind, one has to throw in the issue of MEN holding hands!

I must admit that I am yet to fully understand how men work and all that. Male1 was advocating for PDA among straight men, in a very conservative and prude society? Who gets this because I surely did not? To rest this discussion, it took my second male friend, Male2,whom I quote verbatim:

" the concept of being gay, half the time, isn't about expression but it is in the act."

My two friends then put forth a strong, and (when I really thought about it) a legitimate argument that men who hug other men (even in the manner men hug females), men who hold hands as a heterosexual couple does and men who are not ashamed or embarrassed to wear pink or any of the so-called feminine colors are men who are very much comfortable with their sexuality and embrace the feminine influence in their lives.

At the end of the discussion, I came away with a renewed way of viewing my male friends when they hug and hold hands-they are not gay. A very interesting thought process and position, I might add considering the fact that I still think that Male2 has hibernating gay tendencies, he looks gay! However a gay guy looks like. It is a fine line between reality and perception. This was part of a day's work- i now have to write a play on gays, perceptions and misconceptions! The life of an artist, what bliss!